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Elementary I

The chambermaid bursts into the smoking room and, to the astonishment of those inside, announces:
"Lord Heath has been murdered!"
"But, how?" exclaim some,
"It can't be!" others, and
"Oh, God!" a couple.
Sure enough, inside the library all the guests can see that, amidst a puddle of blood over the persian rug, Lord Heath lies dead.
Everyone present, including the chambermaid and the ever-suspicious butler, calmly takes a seat. Then they wait for a detective to show up. He will probably tell them, after a couple of hundred pages, which one among them is the killer.
"We have to stop coming to these murderous get-togethers, dearest", says one of the guests to his wife, "because I'm getting really tired of us never playing any of the important roles in them."

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